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In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Chuck Norris turned that wine into beer. Chuck Norris can hit you older woman having sex so hard that he can actually alter your DNA. Decades from now your descendants will occasionally clutch their heads and yell "What The Fuck was That?" Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of older woman having sex relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When older woman having sex it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking. Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths. The Chuck Norris military unit was not used in the game Civilization 4, because a single Chuck Norris could defeat the entire combined nations of the world in one turn.
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