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All hes done is write 80 bullshit stories for that other damn rag and sit around wasting time watching re-runs of The Simpsons and drinking geek all day. So I took control and, right away- you get brand new content! And, you know what? Im not only going to take over Unpublished Proceedings, but Im geek planning on taking over his entire humor network, stated Mr. X. Unpublished Proceedings reporter Alena Ivanovna concurs geek with Mr. X. Ive done nothing over the last 18 months but sit around in one continuous drunken stupor. There has been no work here! All that prick (referring to Sroka) thinks about is The Simpsons, booze and hanky-panky. At least Mr. X will do some work. Im glad we are back on track and I hope Mr. X does take over the whole network. More power to him, said Reporter Ivanovna between gulps from her bottle of Thunderbird.
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