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I sound so pitiful. People would laugh at this if they read it. I hate being laughed at. But they won't faculty staff laugh faculty staff after they're scraping parts of their parents, sisters, brothers, and friends from the wall of my hate. Please. Someone, help me. All faculty staff I want is something small. Nothing big. I just want to be happy. End. New day. Today of all days, I ask her to help me. I was shot down. I feel like my heart has been ripped open and ripped apart. Right now, I'm drunk, so I don't know what the hell is happening to me. It is clear that no one will help me. Oh God, I am so close to killing people. So close. I gave her all I have, and she just threw it away. Why? Why did God just want me to be in complete misery? I need to find more weapons. My parents are trying to take away some of my guns! My guns are the only things that haven't stabbed me in the back. My eyes hurt. They hurt so bad. They feel like they are trying to crawl out of my head.
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