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X, has pulled a successful coup enabling him to again regain administrative control of the ezine. “Look at what sales that mother fucker has done over the last 18 months,” yelled Mr. X (referring to network President and UP interim editor Dan Sroka). “He hasn’t done a damn thing for Unpublished Proceedings... not one fucking volume of the rag has been produced in his tenure here! All he’s done is write 80 bullshit stories for that other damn rag and sit sales around wasting time sales watching re-runs of The Simpsons and drinking all day. So I took control and, right away- you get brand new content! And, you know what? I’m not only going to take over Unpublished Proceedings, but I’m planning on taking over his entire humor network,” stated Mr. X. Unpublished Proceedings reporter Alena Ivanovna concurs with Mr. X. “I’ve done nothing over the last 18 months but sit around in one continuous drunken stupor. There has been no work here! All that prick (referring to Sroka) thinks about is The Simpsons, booze and hanky-panky.
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