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| blackchair, joel, self help / general, box, thefat girl summary, read, fat tit, web, lose belly fat, books on tape, kerykes, author, libero de rienzo, fat ass, jewelry, body fat, nonfiction, spinsters ink books, fiction, tales, | I went back and forth on this in my english mind. Good Tucker "She has a really cute face.” Bad Tucker "She is fat.” Good Tucker "Well, she isn’t disgustingly obese. She’s only like 30…40..ish…pounds overweight.” Bad Tucker "What does that mean? She’s fat.” Good Tucker "But I promised my friends, english and this might be my ONLY CHANCE to hook up through the site.” Bad Tucker "Right--but SHE’S STILL FAT.” I decided to end the debate by moving my army across the Rubicon: “Bartender, get me a shot.” And then I burned the english bridges behind me: “Make it cheap tequila. With a beer back.” Yes, I know that fucking fat girls is against the rules for any self-respecting guy, but the rules have a loophole. That loophole is called alcohol. God bless it. With each tequila shot and beer combo, she lost weight, and her face, which was previously only cute, became sorta hot. The night started improving. Then it went to shit. I chose the James Joyce because I knew none of my friends would be there that night, as on Wednesdays they always went to the same bar in Chapel Hill. |
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| We started talking over beer, and she was a very sweet girl just like in her emails. It quickly became obvious that she was very much into me, and after about three beers she really started loosening up. The turning point in the conversation was this: Fat Girl [with a seductive, portly, dimpled look] “Tucker, are you body fat a player?” Tucker “Uh, no…I mean, not in the way you are thinking. A body fat player is someone who is only out to have sex for the sake of sex, and will do or say anything to hook up. body fat Yeah, I mean, I like sex, but I won’t do anything to hook up with a girl. Well…normally, at least.” Fat Girl [Still with the seductive, portly, dimpled look] “I think you’re a player Tucker Max…but I’m not going to sleep with you.” Well, this one is locked up. The night is obviously going to end in sex if I want it, but I still had to decide: Do I bail on this date, avoid the ignominy of having sex with Miss Piggy and pray that another girl emails me for a date, or do I just suck it up, take the opportunity in front of me and fulfill the promise to my friends? |
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