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| classifieds, phil collins, rita hayworth, graphics, over 50 sex , fun stuff, flash games, milf moms , over 50 years of age , peoplescreensavers, pics, statistics, judy garland, | Has made himself the leader of a self-congratulatory public campaign to bring back "serious" writing, which apparently means 576 pages of namedropping, contrived situations and agonizingly overwrought metaphors. (The health care Corrections has a full page on the theme of "the alarm bell of anxiety.") The reason people don’t read books anymore isn’t because they’re too lazy to turn off the Knicks game; it’s because the New York health care publishing world makes darlings out of writers who seem proud of how much they health care suck. 48 Rock Revivalists, "Musicians" When the Strokes wormed their way into the pop charts, US Weekly and Drew Barrymore’s well-worn snatch, the search began for the nonexistent New York scene that spawned their moppet rock. Innumerable acts applied for next-big-thing status, offering a high-concept, rock-crit-friendly crossbreed (as in "we’re a cross between late-60s new wave and 80s electro, but with a whole Morrissey thing going on") in a cutey-pie wrapping. |
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| See you next year. 50 Naomi Campbell, Model The quintessential don’t-you-know-who-I-am celebrity has made milf moms headlines for her Mansonesque behavior toward bellhops, assistants and other people with real jobs. It’s easy to hate models; milf moms we’d all like to make a living getting fucked in speedboats and staying hooked on other peoples’ heroin. But a model who’s an ungrateful asshole to boot actually deserves the inevitable cruel fate of her lot: an early middle age of sagging tits, Botox, secret Rogaine treatments and fat stockbroker boyfriends with hairy backs. 49 Jonathan Franzen , Author If only al Qaeda could be conned into a prisoner exchange: We get the retarded adopted son of bin Laden’s plumber’s apprentice, they get Jonathan Franzen. Alas, they’re smarter than that. The author of The Corrections made his career by loudly offering himself as a leading candidate to write the next Catch-22, despite the fact that he has absolutely no sense of humor. |
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