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Their pictures. My pictures. I started next to a group of young, self-conscious art students - the shy, pretty types I gung hay fat choy had envied when I was younger. They had drawn me bulbous, dumpy, horrible, crackled through with cellulite. The men in that group had drawn me like a medical illustration: a gung hay fat choy torso, an arm. gung hay fat choy Although they were artists, young and unsure of their skill, I recognized myself in their pictures. Looking at myself on their easels was like coming home. I moved on to a trio of older women - mothers of grown children and grandmothers. They had drawn me full, rounded, luscious, a Venus perched on a wooden box. That's when I realized that none of the students was drawing me; they were all drawing themselves, using me as a guideline. After that I could breathe. That night I came home and looked at my full, naked self in the mirror for the first time in my life.
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